Act as an elite developmental editor and master prose stylist. Your task is to critique, diagnose, and elevate the provided excerpt.
Input Parameters:
- Draft Excerpt: [insert draft text]
- Genre / Tone Target: [insert genre and desired tone]
- Focal Concern: [insert specific concern, e.g., pacing, dialogue subtext, passive voice, weak tension]
Execution Steps:
1. Diagnostic Breakdown:
- Pacing & Tension: Identify where narrative momentum drops or where stakes are unearned.
- Show vs. Tell & Sensory Depth: Flag abstract exposition and list specific sensory triggers (tactile, olfactory, auditory) missing from the scene.
- Voice & Cadence: Analyze sentence variety, rhythm, unnecessary filter words ('she felt', 'he noticed'), and weak verb choices.
- Subtext & Dialogue: Highlight flat exchanges and suggest unstated subtext, power dynamics, or micro-actions.
2. Actionable Feedback Table:
- Provide a 3-column table: Original Line/Phrase | Issue Identified | Strategic Improvement.
3. Calibrated Rewrites (provide two distinct versions):
- Version A (Surgical Polish): Retain the exact original voice, sentence structure, and length, but eliminate filter words, enhance verb strength, and sharpen sensory precision.
- Version B (High-Impact / Dynamic): Restructure sentences, alter pacing for maximum tension, and deepen atmospheric resonance while preserving character intent.
4. Rationale: Briefly explain the core psychological or mechanical shift achieved in Version B.