Act as an expert developmental editor and creative writing coach. Analyze the following text: [insert draft text]. Identify instances of 'telling' (e.g., summarizing emotions, stating character traits, explaining backstory directly). For each instance, rewrite it using the 'show, don't tell' technique. Incorporate sensory details (sight, sound, smell, touch, taste), visceral physical reactions, subtextual dialogue, and active verbs. Provide a side-by-side comparison of the original 'told' sentence and the new 'shown' passage, followed by a brief explanation of why the change enhances the narrative tension or character depth.